If you don’t know what
Digger is, go read it before reading these quotes. The quotes are not the best lines from the
webcomic. No, there are too many of those
to be contained in a mere list. If you
want the best lines, go read the comic.
If you don’t want the best lines, particularly, go read the comic. Seriously. Go read the comic. It will enrich your
life.
As I was saying, this isn't a list of best quotes. It's a list of the quotes that illuminate Wombat Culture as it exists within Digger. If you’ve already read the comic and just want a little reminder of the joy of experiencing a touch of Wombat Culture, this is the list for you. If you haven’t already read the comic: read the comic.
You'll see from the quotes that Wombat Culture is centered
around geology and engineering and general underground pragmatism. A bit of humor may sneak into the list, of
course. I’m a sucker for humor. Also, the page numbers refer to the website,
not to the printed books. Those didn’t
exist when I compiled the list. Enjoy!
------------------------
Page 6
One of the first things a
young wombat learns is that if she's lost, tunneling around at random only gets
her more lost. Fortunately, there's a direction that she can always count on to
go somewhere eventually. Straight up.
Page 12
"Dip me in chalk and
call me a limestone conglomerate!"
Page 16
"Can't carve a tunnel
with tears," as my Grandmother used to say.
Page 33
"Well . . . I suppose
no one was ever killed by a cave painting. Except Great Aunt Ruby that
time, and everyone said that was a fluke."
Page 35
"Man, don't you know
not to mess with a sleeping wombat? We swing pickaxes for twelve hours a
day. We're like biceps with feet."
"Remember Tunnel
17!" (If you want an explanation of that one, read the comic.)
Page 36
"Now, what in the name
of the dirt under the claws of the Mother of all Wombats is your problem?"
Page 48
" . . . all this
talking philosophy is like trying to tunnel through water."
Page 55
"But let's not
panic. Just think of it as a cave-in. There's no immediate way out,
but that's okay. Relax. Breathe slowly. Don't worry about the
people back home, because you can't do anything about that right now.
Stay calm.
Don't try to fix everything
at once. Focus. Just assess the situation and do whatever needs to
be done next. And don't waste air."
Page 58
"And as Cousin
Shalesides used to say, "Momma wasn't raisin' no ingrates."
Page 73
". . . 'Cos everyone I
met was madder than a mole in Maytime."
Page 82
"Mother of moles. . .
" (exclamation)
"Well, you can't brace
a tunnel with haste . . . "
Page 111
"-- Cousin Tunnelfast
found an ornamental pond of blind cave koi in an old dwarfholt that not only
talked, they argued philosophy. In Limerick form. With two inch fangs."
Page 103 (yes, it's after 111 in the webcomic archives - the page numbering is as
distorted as the cross-spatial entry tunnel – it might be helpful to know that
you can go to any page directly with the address http://diggercomic.com/?p=
and put the page number after the =)
"Ah, well. . . Better
working that weeping, as my Mother used to say."
Page 107 (yes, still after
111)
". . . Blood of the
Architect!"
Page 120
"Hold your moles, I'm
comin'."
Page 142
"NEVER STAB A WOMBAT IN
THE REAR!"
Page 131 (yes, it's after
142: magic - twisting - space - hole)
"We’ve got like three
inch hides down there. It's practically armor plate. All stabbing
it does is get us REALLY ticked off."
"Aw, molecrud."
Page 133 (not before 142)
"You call that a
hammer? I wouldn't tenderize a turnip with that hammer!"
Page 147
Hag: "How do you
feel?"
Digger: "Like
I've been run over my a mine cart. And the donkey it was attached
to."
Page 149
Hag: "But, don't you
have old women who run things?"
Digger: "Yeah, we call
them '"Senior Engineers.' Men, too."
Page 150
"Unghgh. Blood
and shale and bracing, my head."
Page 143 (do I have to
explain this?)
"Eh. Done is
done. The rock is split, might as well carve it as cry over
it."
Page 145 (ditto)
"Okay. As my
Uncle Braceforth used to say, 'There are very few problems that cannot be made
better with a night's sleep, breakfast, and a pickaxe."
Page 656 (I can see it
coming)
" . . .And by the time
I got back to the warren, my fur would be white and all the good engineering
jobs of my generation would be taken."
Page 657 (wait for it)
"Merciful Mother of
Moles. . . "
Page 660 (still waiting)
"I've said it before --
wombats aren't much good at melancholy. And there's something absurdly
cheering about being attacked by a vampire squash. I men, you gotta
laugh."
Page 160 (zing! knew
it.)
"(List of difficulties
due to excavating while working around an arrow wound.) But still, it was a
root cellar. There's no such thing as a joyless root cellar."
"As eulogies go, it was
somewhat more religious than I liked, but it had an almost wambattish brevity
that I admired."
Page 175
"There aren't any
wombat gods to tell stories about. We wouldn't stand for it."
Page 172 (you know the
drill)
"I'll bet you diamonds
to dolomitic conglomerates . . . "
Page 211
(translated wombat curse) “I
will construct its dwelling using inferior materials!”
Page 199 (these are not the
page numbers you’re looking for)
“Blood and shale . . . “ (Most frequently used exclamation)
Page 200
“Great. Well . . . in for coal, in for diamonds, I
suppose.”
Page 226
(I’m not sure this
qualifies, but I like it, so it’s in.)
“Boy, you can sure tell I
was high when I dug this thing, can’t you?
(Our favorite wombat had hit
a pocket of bad air while digging.
Page 213 (same drill)
(footnote to song) *Various
bloodthirsty and off-key versions of this song exist, commemorating the
legendary battle of the flood tunnels, where hundreds of heroic wombats gave
their lives in the fight for better quality assurance standards, setting the
stage for the Great Mortar Rebellion some years later.
Page 233
“—If this is less than a
thousand years old, I’m a thrust fault.”
Page 247
“. . . a few load bearing
beams short of a tunnel.”
Page 249
“But, as Mom would say, ‘If
you didn’t want to go swimming, you shouldn’t have tunneled under the lake!’”
Page 292
“Always double-check your
math if there are explosives involved.”
(Part of an explanation of what evil is.
You need to read the rest of it in context. I’m tickled that failing to perform with due
diligence is an obvious evil, to a wombat.)
Page 353
“And if Ed was involved, I’d
personally eat my pickaxe. Without
salt.”
Page 386
“I can see you two are gonna
get on like a tunnel explosion. . . “
Page 391
Digger: “I’m starting to suspect . . . look, do
humans ever have baby humans that get . . . lost? Go missing?
And then they’re raised by moles?”
Murai: “Wolves are more traditional with us.:
Page 406
“Ed, sweet ancestors, what’s
wrong?”
Page 393 (shhhhh!)
“People don’t get to be rude
just because they save your life -- ”
Page 401
“Shadow, what in the name of
the Mother of moles are you doing?”
Page 428
“Okay, wait just a
shale-draggin’ minute here.”
Page 443
“Think about - - er - -
moles. Yes. Nice moles.
With velvety snouts and soft fur.
Happy moles. Gamboling in a
tunnel. I’m in my happy place, with
moles.
Oh, man. I’m losing it.”
Page 463
Random hyena: “What was that song she was teaching us,
anyway? About the milkmaid and the
thrust fault?”
Page 477
“The problem with lecturing
someone about ethics is that it always comes around to bite you in the knees. .
. . Well. Honesty is the best policy, as
Grandma Rootslash used to say.”
Page 470 (**whistling**)
“Oh, Mother of moles, my
head feels like a mining accident.”
Page 472
Mother of moles, no one
should have to explain cultural relativism on a queasy stomach, particularly
since wombats aren’t cultural relativists.
We know full well that some stuff is just wrong.”
Page 484
“That’s a big ‘ol load of coproliths,
statue.”
Page 564 (There is much exposition about the way
wombats pack for a journey.)
Page 540
“Grim Eyes, this is
Murai. Be nice to her. The ladder goes all the way to the bottom of
the mine shaft, but here are no landings, if you get what I mean.”
Page 558
Grim Eyes: “Heh.
Do you have any children?”
Digger: “Me?
Blood and shale, no! Not really
old enough, and I haven’t met anybody I’d want to enter into a binding legal
contract with, never mind including reproductive clauses . . . “
Grim Eyes: “That’s how earth-rats reproduce?”
Digger: “No, we do that in
the usual way. We just make sure all the
forms are filled out first.”
Page 549, the next page (you
know the drill) goes into more detail, but the conversation is as much
character development as wombat culture, so I’m skipping it.
Page 575
“And furthermore, should you
hurt its feelings, I’m going to smelt ore with your bones, understand?”
Page 598
“I deserve this. My fifth grade vocational teacher would have
my head.”
Page 591 (calming breaths)
“ . . . but if wishes were
ingots. Beggars would smelt, as Great-Aunt Ironbit used to say.”
Page 665
“My dear hunter-gatherer,
allow me to introduce you to lignite.
Grim Eyes, Lignite. Lignite, Grim
Eyes. “
Page 669 more about moles
Page 676 discussion of ghosts
and their differences due to species.
Page 686
“He . . . listened closely
and politely, asked occasional geological questions, and generally gave the
impression of watching someone dig a hole they weren’t getting out of in a
hurry.”
Page 749 a few details about wombat inheritance
Page 757
“. . . it wasn’t magic,
exactly. It felt like .. . oh, like the
itch in your claws you get when you walk under a ceiling that could come down
at any moment.
The whole world felt like an
impending cave-in.”
Page 781
“I’ll make him regret the
day he slid out of his mother pouch –“
Page 799
“But – just – I – oh,
ancestors bugger it . . . “
Page 863
Villain: “Do you have any idea how long twelve
thousand years is?”
Digger: “I know it’s not long enough to make a good
rock.”
Page 876
Basic mine safety covers
working safely in total darkness.
Page 908
“There’s always something
that needs doing, as one or the other of my grandmothers used to say . . .”
Page 912
“Don’t ask me why I felt
like that. Boneclaw Mother could
probably have told me, but I didn’t really feel like having her mine that
particular vein out.”
-------------
This would be the end of the
list, but I just have to add at least one Oracular Slug quote: “Don’t salt the messenger.” Page 114.
And a special thank you to
Ursula Vernon for creating and sharing Digger and for giving me
permission to post these quotes. You have made a fan very happy.
I started reading Digger yesterday because of your post in the SDMB. I wanted to thank you for introducing me to this joy of a web comic!
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