Friday, September 5, 2014

Fifty-Seventh Beginning: Monstrous Limericks

[The title says monstrous, but if you're not familiar with the monsters and character classes from Dungeons and Dragons and related role-playing games, you may be puzzled by a few references.]

There once was a zombie named Fred,
Who was a nice chap, though undead.
True, his smell did offend
But he'd willingly lend
A hand any time, or a head.

A black pudding who'd just eaten onion
Met a shambling mound in a dungeon
And the gas they gave off
As they fought, spat, and frothed
Touched a torch, soon, and caused an ick-splosion.

A familiar, a red imp quite awful
Thought his wizard would make a sweet jaw-full.
Though he longed for mage stew
It never would do.
Said he, "I am evil, but lawful."

An ex-paladin, reeking of booze,
Saved his band from a lurking grey ooze.
When praised for his deed
He scoffed, said "No need,
I've got worse gunk than that in my shoes."

A piercer, that dropped from the ceiling,
Set the whole of the search party squealing.
It's a good thing, they said,
That it hid Daffith's head,
For where there's no sense there's no feeling.

A gargoyle attacked, causing strife
For a tired knight, who fought for life.
"Good," he said, as he fought,
"For I almost forgot
To bring home a gift for my wife."

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